Once in a Lifetime
by enviousDangelM
Summary: UPDATED: AUTHOR'S NOTE. King Kenshin kept Princess Kaoru against her will. He separated her from her life. She yearns for her family. Does Kenshin have the strength to let her go?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there. This is my first story so please be lenient, but I am willing to face any constructive criticism that you throw at me. Let me know what I need to improve or add. **

**I do not own Rurouni Kenshin overall.**

**None of this is plagiarized.**

**So yeah. Enjoy…**

Once in a Lifetime

Chapter 1

_I am the princess everyone loves._

_My life is filled with happiness and laughter._

_I was taken from my home of Ryel by a tyrant._

_He made me his._

_He thought me a pleasure slave and a female to bear children._

_My heart has closed to him._

_I do not wish for his heart _

_And I do not wish to be with him._

_I am Kaoru Kamiya, Crown Princess of Ryel._

The babe within me grows with each passing day. I have not yet reached my third month, but I notice that I am gaining motherly instincts. I, however, yearn for the activities I could do before I was with child. I could no longer walk far or spar under the watchful eyes of my husband and servants. I am no longer allowed to hold a knife or pour my own medicine, for they fear that I would harm the babe. They watch me like a lioness with her cubs. Such attention irritates me, especially the attention given to me by my husband.

When he had first captured me, I was only a whore in his eyes, a pleasure slave and a woman with a young and innocent body that had yet to be corrupted. Now, he sees me as the woman I am: an expecting mother and a young lady with bitterness and hatred that is directed at him. He woos me, pampers me, and even claims to love me. Ha. I will die laughing if he meant it.

Now, as I gaze out my window that faces the horses' pasture fields, I think about my family. How I longed to tell them I am with child. It matters not to me who the father is. I know they will be grinning with joy at my conception. Mother would take me to go shopping in the marketplaces and help me think of names. Father –I chuckled- would stare with his mouth agape, shocked at the knowledge, but would bark out his laughter with no humiliation. Aoshi would...I stopped. My heart dropped. My beloved Aoshi Shinomori, the Captain of the Palace Guards and Second Advisor to the King. It had only been a day after his proposal that I was kidnapped. We were supposed to wed next month.

Unbeknownst to my husband, I keep a small charcoal picture of Aoshi, his most precious necklace, and my engagement ring. I was not allowed to keep objects that would remind me of Aoshi, for my husband is a jealous and possessive man.

"Married women should not hold onto keepsakes that remind them of past loves," he had snarled at me. "You are mine and mine alone. No one is to have you but me."

I scoff at his words now. I had been kidnapped because my father would not give my husband what he wanted, what it was I don't know. Apparently after a year, my husband still kept me, believing that my father would trade me for what he wanted. What Father has that my husband doesn't must mean that this object is more than special.

I have become familiar with the back of my husband's hand whenever he was displeased with me. When I would mention Aoshi or speak of anything that relates to Aoshi, my husband would snap and take me aside to teach me a lesson. It is unpleasant and uncomfortable, but I am used to it now. The worse beating I received was when he found Aoshi's engagement ring hanging around my neck. Aoshi's favorite hawk had delivered it to me one early morning with a message of _Do not be afraid, I will get you back soon_. It was during this time that I was actually frightened of my husband. His eyes turned a bright gold with flecks of red, his face contorted into a devilish glare, and his hands became steel fists.

It was during that time that I was pregnant with my first child. Yes, the child that I now hold within my body is my second, not my first. I had miscarried during my husband's relentless beating. I had never told him. Kimiko, my husband's favorite old kitchen lady chef, told him. I had never seen my husband so devastated and hurt. His face was covered in sadness as I would reject his touch. He had sent so many flowers to my room that it was literally like a wild garden that was not tended to for a while. The only time that I allowed my husband to come near me and impregnate me was because of the lecture that I received from Kimiko. My husband was not the same after that.

_I am the king everyone fears._

_My past is drenched with blood and corpses. _

_I have taken a princess from her home._

_I have made her mine._

_I once thought her a female that serves for pleasure and bears children. _

_But now my eyes have opened_

_And I wish for her to see my vulnerable heart that is held in her hands._

_I am Kenshin Himura, King Battousai of Liere._

I watch my wife of a year and a half sit by the window of our room and gaze outside. I can see the longing in her sapphire eyes. My free-spirited siren. She who has never been caged is caged. A beauty like no other from the inside and out, she captures both by heart and attention. I have already ruined our first chance together by kidnapping her from her family. And I have left our relationship hanging by a thin line when I assaulted her and killed our unborn child.

I did not mean to kill our first child. I did not know of it until my favorite maid, Kimiko, told me. Words cannot express how devastated and shocked I was. No, it was more than devastation and shock. It was something deeper. But I was also hurt that my wife kept the child a secret from me for four weeks. Did she not want me to be a father? Did she want me to be left in pain, knowing that my child would never know his or her father?

Ha. How can blame her? I took her from her family; it is only fair that she takes my child away from me. Now she is pregnant with our second, only because of Kimiko. Bless my favorite maid. She had been a second mother to me and raised me when my parents could not. She kept me partially sane throughout my bloody past. Though many of my advisors and guards and servants have left out of fear, it is Kimiko who has shown not one indication that she would leave. In fact, she is the only person who I fear and who my second half Battousai fears. Though Kimiko is kind and loving at heart, her temper is renowned. She mothered five children and has nine grandchildren. Her husband, Xuzyan, had long left this world. He, too, was a favorite of mine and a man I deeply respected. He had fought beside my father in many battles and gained the position of First Advisor and third in line to the throne should something happen to me, even though Xuzyan didn't want the throne.

But how can I show my beloved wife that I truly love her? I have told her and shown her many times, but she scoffs at me. She tells me, "How can you truly love someone if you've taken away that person's own loves of her life?" Many days I have pondered over this. And many days I have thought of returning her to her family. But I know she will never come back. I know she will never let me see my baby. I know she will pass my baby as Aoshi's.

Oh how I long to be Aoshi. He holds my beloved's heart and vice versa. There is no room in my wife's hands to hold my heart. She would rather feed it to the sharks than hold it. But if she would hold my heart and have a glimpse of how true my feelings are for her, it would not matter if she disposes of my heart. Just as long as she knows.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to those who reviewed. **

**_blush_**

**I'm quite flattered by all your compliments. **

**And to satisfy those who want to know who my main pair is:**

**I'm not telling. **

**You'll just have to wait and see. I already know who my pair is; I just don't want to show it yet.**

**I will be quite busy for the next week, so if anyone sends any more reviews or want me to update more chapters, I probably won't get to it within the week since Interims will be going out. I have a lot of work to catch up on. **

**I am excited to put the 2nd chapter up.**

**And I am hoping for more constructive reviews.**

**Here's the 2nd chapter…**

**Enjoy!**

**Oh and I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. **

**And none of this is plagiarized.**

Chapter 2

** Sapphire** orbs squinted open as the morning rays of sunlight caressed a face. A yawn. A deep sigh. Another day.

Kaoru sat up, her raven-black hair falling about her white-clad shoulders. Out of habit, she caressed her stomach. She smiled. Though she may hold contempt for the father of her child, she can't bring herself to scorn the babe. After all, it wasn't the babe's fault that she was an imprisoned wife. Why the Battousai chose her, she couldn't fathom. There were dozens of willing, naïve princesses who yearned to be the bride of the "dashing and delectable" Battousai. Those princesses, who have never experienced death or saw blood, were blinded by the Battousai's past and thought him a handsome man with a shinning sword, rippling muscles, and great wealth.

Kaoru then got out of bed and stretched. Her maid had already came in a few minutes later and prepared a bowl and pitcher to wash her face. She attended to her private business and picked out her wardrobe for the day. She did not bother to ring for the maid to help her. She wasn't weak-willed and helpless like those other princesses. Her father taught her to be strong. She pulled on a simple deep blue gown with a square neckline embroidered with silver and long flowing sleeves. It was a suitable gown for a pregnant woman and it was stylish in its own way. She slipped into matching slippers and brushed her long hair. She put on her mother's necklace and walked out of her room. Two men were waiting patiently outside, one was dressed in a navy-blue uniform and other was dressed in a guard's black uniform.

"Good morning, my lady." The man with spiked brown hair and cheerful chocolate eyes in the navy-blue uniform greeted her with a low bow.

"Lord Sanosuke," she greeted with a low nod. "I did not know you can rise so early."

Sanosuke, a Lord of the Sagara House and Captain of the Royal Guard, laughed heartily. He was a good friend of the Battousai's and fought many battles alongside him. Why this man was friends with a killer she could not fathom. However, Sanosuke held a special place in Kaoru's heart. Handsome as he was, Kaoru would always think of him as an older brother. He was protective of her yet he let her have her own breathing space.

"I didn't drink last night, my lady." Sanosuke said.

"Oh?" Kaoru smiled. "Do I give credit to the charms of my dear physician?"

Sanosuke blushed at the mention of the palace physician. A beautiful lady adopted by the Takani House, Megumi had long gleaming dark hair and fox-like sea-green eyes. She was a sly woman who got her way, especially with Sanosuke. But it was not only her practice that made her known in many countries, she was the first female physician. The Battousai had recognized her special talents and proclaimed her the first female physician. She once hand a past full of death and the making of illegal and deadly drugs, but now as a certified physician, she is atoning for those sins. She admits she loves healing others with her heart and talent instead of fighting for survival through drugs and death. Though medicine is her passion, it is Sanosuke who holds her heart, even though doesn't admit it aloud.

Kaoru chuckled as Sanosuke struggled to deny her question. "Perhaps one day before I die I'll hear the pitter-patter of little feet around the palace?"

Sanosuke's blush darkened. "M-my lady," he muttered. He shifted from foot to foot in nervousness. "We should be going down to the dining room for breakfast."

"Very well. Lead the way." Kaoru caught the guard's eye. She winked. He smiled knowingly. He, too, knew of his captain's deep affection for the physician.

They walked down the white marble hallways of the palace. Large portraits of predecessors and recent kings decorated the long hand-painted walls. Kaoru always stared at each magnificent picture whenever she walked down these halls. She noticed that the kings of Liere shared two unusual traits: gleaming red hair and piercing amber eyes. There were smaller portraits of wives hanging by each king. Though these portraits were smaller, the women were painted in different backgrounds to enhance their beauty while their husbands had bland backgrounds.

Kaoru's favorite portrait was of her husband's mother. She stopped at the former queen's picture; Sanosuke and the guard stopped with her. The former queen, Sahara, was truly lovely. She had dark, wavy blond hair and sparkling amethyst eyes that held a hint of amusement, as if she was ready to burst out laughing. Her smile was warm and soothing. Her complexion was tanned and smooth, making her look young and vibrant. Behind her, a sun was raising. Its rays kissed her pinkish cheeks and highlighted her dark blond hair.

"She was a wonderful queen." Sanosuke murmured with a dreamy look in his eyes. "Very patient, very kind, very happy,"

Kaoru scoffed. "It makes me wonder if my husband was really her son."

Sanosuke looked at Kaoru and said with a serious look on his face, "Kenshin isn't as bad as you deem him, my lady. Hi mother Sahara was brutally murdered in front of his face and his father Kenya became a murderer and eventually committed suicide. You must believe me when I say Kenshin was a happy boy before fate took away his parents at a young age. It is because of Liere's enemies that made him so cruel and unkind."

"But does he have to take it out on my parents?" Kaoru murmured. "They have done nothing wrong. My country lived peacefully during his reign and his father's reign and so on." She paused. "What was it that my husband wanted from my father?"

Sanosuke's lipped pursed. "Something very valuable,"

Kaoru looked at him and lifted a brow.

He shook his head. "I apologize, my lady, but I cannot tell you."

Kaoru sighed. "Very well. Let's hurry before my husband wonders where we are."

**They** reached two large wooden doors with the story of how Liere came to be carved into it. Two formerly dressed servants opened the doors. Sanosuke stepped in first and announced Kaoru presence.

At the head of the long dark red polished table, the King of Liere stood immediately. His breath caught when Kaoru entered. Soft amber eyes watched his wife walk to him gracefully, her dark head held high and her blue eyes cast downward. When she reached her seat, Kenshin went up to her and lifted an elegant hand. He touched her chin ever-so-gently and made her look up at him. His loving ambers met dull sapphires. His heart dropped yet he offered a kind smile.

"Good morning, love," he whispered as he laid a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Good morning, Your Majesty."

"Kenshin," he corrected.

"Kenshin," she repeated.

"I trust you had a good night's rest?" he asked as he pulled out her chair on his right.

"Yes, I did."

"I apologize for not coming last night. I had matters to attend to that required my utmost attention." After that fateful night, Kenshin had given her a private room connected to his room. He knew she did not to be near him after she had conceived.

"It is all right."

Kenshin's jaw clenched. It was the same routine every morning. He would be the one issuing the conversation, trying to get her to talk with him, and she would reply with curt and short answers. She rarely said anything more than five words, but she listened attentively whenever he talked about the kingdom's welfare.

"The foreign merchants, as I was informed, want to introduce a new creature," he said as a servant placed Kaoru's breakfast in front of her.

"Thank you," she said to the servant and turned to him and asked, "What is it?"

"A Fahsar," he answered. "They are most delightful creatures. Cousins to the horse family, as I am told. They have all the characteristics of a horse yet their tail, hooves, and ears are different."

"How so?"

"Its tail is like a lion's, long and bushy at the end. Its hooves are actually three toe-like hooves to each leg instead of one hoof. And its ears are long like a rabbit's."

"I see."

"They have a pleasant disposition and know their caretakers well. They are also excellent judges of characters. They are sturdy on their feet and have the strength of two bulls, pulling five times their weight and carrying four times their weight. They mate only once in their lives, staying with their chosen mate until either or both dies. The females can mother one or two foals in their belly. Both are very protective of their offspring and rarely allow strangers near their offspring during the first six months."

"Is that so,"

Kenshin bit his lip and glanced at Sanosuke. His friend gave a nod. "In fact, the merchants were so eager to try out this new trade that they sent a mated pair to us."

Kaoru stopped eating and looked up at him.

Kenshin smiled. He caught her attention. He knew his beloved had a soft spot for animals, especially horses. "They have already borne two foals in the past. The female is with foal now."

Kaoru blinked.

"The female is yours." Kenshin said. "Her name is Fleur. Consider Fleur as a present. Her foal will be our child's." He laid a firm hand on Kaoru's as she started to get up. "You must eat first and then you can go see her."

Kaoru nodded and sat back down.

Kenshin looked over at Sanosuke, who grinned idiotically at him. It was Sanosuke who told Kenshin of the new breed of horse and bought the mated pair of Fahsar for Kaoru and the babe. _Thank you_, he mouthed to his captain friend. Sanosuke shook his head.

An hour later, Kenshin led his wife to the eight-stall stable where it housed four horses used by him and his wife. There was another large stable off to the side that housed the thick-bodied warhorses for the soldiers and the slim errand horses for the messengers. A small band of servants and guards followed them, including Sanosuke.

Kenshin eagerly opened up the royal stable and took his wife down to the stalls that housed the two Fahsar. One elegant head peeked out and watched the newcomers. It was rich black with a snow white mane and tail.

"This is my Fahsar, Horae." Kenshin introduced. He held out his hand to the male and waited as Horae sniffed his hand. When Horae's nose traveled upwards from his hand, Kenshin stepped closer, allowing the Fahsar to sniff his neck and face. Then, Horae's tongue shot out and licked Kenshin's nose. Kenshin jerked back with a laugh.

Kaoru's eyebrows lifted at the sight.

Horae nodded and nickered playfully.

"He is amusing, isn't he?" Kenshin said as he ran his hands along Horae's thick neck. "He has a strong personality yet he is quite gentle." He then held out his hand to Kaoru, who took it eagerly. He pulled Kaoru to him and placed her in front of him. He breathed in Kaoru's jasmine scent and smiled into her hair. He covered her hand with his and held it under Horae's nose.

As Horae sniffed her, Kenshin gently nuzzled Kaoru's silken hair. He took pleasure in feeling her warm body up against his. She had never so willingly allowed him near her like this before, except for that certain night. Though she smelled like jasmine, she also smelled like…like a mother. His heart swelled at the thought of Kaoru carrying his child. He inwardly laughed triumphantly as he thought of Aoshi. He didn't mean to feel like this, honestly, but he couldn't help it. He could see Aoshi's jealous face if he found out Kaoru was pregnant with Kenshin's child.

Horae licked Kaoru's nose, which caused her to jerk back with a musical laugh. Kenshin shifted his head out of the way before the back of her head collided with his nose. He grinned as he heard her laugh. Her laughter brightened her dull sapphire eyes and added a light pink flush to her cheeks. Oh how beautiful she looked.

"He likes you," he remarked.

"As do I," Kaoru replied as she looked up at him.

At that moment, time froze. Kenshin poured his love out into his eyes, hoping she could see it. He wanted her to see that he was truly sorry for taking her away, but he never regretted choosing her. He wanted her to see that yearned for her attention and her love. He wanted her to see that he wanted her in life, forever.

But that moment was ruined when Horae nudged them. He wanted their attention and they weren't giving it to him at the moment.

Kenshin chuckled. "All right, Horae. This is Kaoru. She is my wife, my heart, and my everything."

Something flickered behind Kaoru's sapphire eyes.

Horae nickered to the stall next to him. An angel-white head came out.

"This is Fleur," Kenshin said. "The most beautiful female Fahsar."

Fleur nodded her sky-blue highlighted mane, as if understanding Kenshin's flatter.

"The most interesting trait of hers is her eyes." Kenshin led Kaoru up close to Fleur. "See what color they are?" He lowered his head so that his cheek touched Kaoru's. "A dark blue hue, like yours," he murmured.

Kaoru turned her head to look at him and vice versa. "Thank you," she said. "For purchasing them,"

Kenshin smiled. "Thank Sanosuke. He bought the pair for us."

Kaoru glanced at Sanosuke, who shook his head. "No need for thanks, my lady. Your smile is enough."

Kaoru grinned and looked back at Kenshin. "Can I ride her?"

"I couldn't see why not." The womanly voice came from behind the party of servants and guards. They made way for the woman that was walking up. "Just no trotting and galloping." Megumi said with a warning.

Kaoru sighed, relieved. "Thank you, Megumi."

Megumi smiled. "You deserve this what with all the overly-cautious people around here." She glared mockingly at Kenshin, Sanosuke, the servants, and the guards, who all blushed.

Kaoru opened Fleur's stall door and brought the female out. The light taps of twelve toes sounded on the stone floor.

Kenshin watched with pride as Kaoru stroked Fleur's head and neck as a stable boy tacked Fleur. He looked back at Megumi and saw a look in her eyes that made him alarmed. He laid a hand on Kaoru's back and kissed her head before he walked up to the physician. "What is it?" he asked without preamble.

"Am I _that_ easy to read?" she asked.

"I have known you long enough to know what's bothering you."

Sanosuke gently pushed them to the other side of the stable. "Go talk over there so Kaoru won't see."

Kenshin frowned. He didn't want to keep anything from Kaoru, but if Sanosuke said to move away and if Megumi had a very serious look in her eyes, then it must be very important.

Once they were on the side, Megumi took a breath.

"What?" he demanded impatiently.

"It's Aoshi Shinomori."

Kenshin's brows furrowed deeper. "What about him?"

"He wants Kaoru back."

_To be with you, my life brightens with joy._

_To be with you, my heart swells with love._

_To be without you, everything fades into darkness._

_-D_


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for reviewing. **

**I really appreciate it.**

**One person's review caught my attention about riding pregnant horses. ****To clear that up, let's just say that the horse is just a week into her pregnancy. I'll do more research on that detail.**

**Another person also brought up how I should do some flashbacks. I'm going to put one in this chapter.**

**Once again, please tell me what I need to do to improve my story.**

**I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.**

**This is not plagiarized. **

**Another thing: **

**I. Words that are bold mean the start of a paragraph. Somehow whenever I download it to the Document Manager in my account, it doesn't show any paragraphs. **

**II. Sections that are bold _and_ italicized are flashbacks. **

**III. Any sentences, words, phrases, etc. that are italicized are the characters speaking their thoughts unless they are emphasizing something when they're talking.**

Chapter 3

**Kenshin** felt his heart stop.

_No, this can't be_, he thought. He glared at Megumi. "Why does he want her only a year after? He had many opportunities to acquire her. Why only now?"

Megumi winced and glanced at Sanosuke. "We've heard rumors that he has been trying to gather a large army to challenge your own, my lord."

Kenshin's golden eyes glittered. "What?" he hissed. "Who is in his army?"

"A little more than half of the army is part of the Oniwaban Clan, that we know for sure. The rest must be loyal servants of theirs."

"But why take so long if he has so much access to that much people?"

"We are trying to figure that out as well, my lord." Megumi said.

Kenshin started to pace a little. "Why haven't our spies notified us sooner?" he demanded. "They were personally trained by Sanosuke himself to see and report anything suspicious, even if it were nonsense."

Megumi hesitated. "We have not heard from them this past week." Kenshin stopped to stare at her. "We assume that they have been found out and assassinated or turned from us."

"This is not good." Kenshin muttered as he resumed pacing. "The Oniwaban Clan is an exceptionally strong people. There are hardly any other fighting styles that are equivalent to theirs."

"Sanosuke's men are getting nervous by the hour, my lord. We must act now." Megumi said.

"You're right. I'll ask Sanosuke to take half of his first and second regiment and-"

"That's not what I meant, my lord."

Curious yet wary amber eyes stared at her. "Then what _do_ you mean?"

"You might object to it, but it is the only way we'll avoid any casualties on both your people and your army."

Realization dawned on him. "No," he snapped. "I'll not allow it, Megumi."

"But, my lord, Liere will surely fall if we fight the Oniwaban. If we declare a battle with them and the casualties leave Liere drained, then other countries will take advantage of us. You know how precious Liere is with its rich soil and its abundance of rare gems. Liere has prospered for many years under your family's reign and it cannot fall just because of one woman."

Amber eyes glared brightly at her. "Kaoru is not just 'a woman', she is my other half, my perfect half. I will not lose her to another."

The physician shook her head. "She has already given her heart to Lord Aoshi. She was promised to him. She-"

"I'll have none of your words right now, Megumi." Kenshin interrupted with a scowl. "Kaoru will not know about Aoshi's advancements or his whereabouts. When you are alone with Sanosuke, tell him I want Aoshi found and caught. Throw him into the sea, cast him into the lions' den, send him away with money, I don't care. I want Aoshi off my land and away from Kaoru."

Just as Kenshin started to walk away, Megumi said softly, "She'll find out sooner or later, Kenshin." She had deliberately used his given name instead of his title to emphasize her point. "Kaoru is a smart woman and is as strong as they come. Her heart is pure with love and devotion. She will know when Aoshi is near."

Slender hands clenched into white fists. Kenshin whirled around. "I tell you this once again, Megumi, Kaoru is mine and mine alone. She is my soul mate, my other half. I'll not lose her."

"Do you think she would give the man who has taken her from her family, forced her to marry him, took her virtue without permission, and murdered her first child who had not even reach two months any chances at all?" Megumi hissed.

Kenshin winced. "She can hate me until the day we both die, but I'll never let her go."

Megumi shook her head, frustrated. "You do not understand, Kenshin."

"Oh I understand," he snapped vehemently. "He wants to _take away_ the only happiness I've ever had in my entire life. He wants to take away the person_ I_ dearly love."

Again, she shook her head. "No, Kenshin. He's taking _back_ who _he_ loves."

Kenshin's lips pursed. He looked away. "Either way, I won't give her back."

"Not even for…?"

"No. Even if I did have it, I would never give her back," he answered. "The only treasure I have is her, belly-full with my child."

"Oh Kenshin. You do not know what you are doing. You _must _let Kaoru convince Lord Aoshi to retreat."

"Why? So she could run away from me to return to him?"

Megumi shook her head and took a few steps toward him. "She knows you are capable of destroying her kingdom and killing her family. There is no way she would risk the chance of angering you. Believe me. She will _not_ go back to him. Instead, I assume she will meet with him only to send him away."

"And if he tries to take her with him?"

"Lord Aoshi is a man of honor, a gentleman. He will not force a woman to do his bidding. If he truly loves her, he will succumb to her request and evacuate the country."

Kenshin looked back at Kaoru, who smiled beautifully at Fleur's playful antics. He gave a small smile in her direction when she glanced at him. Her stunning smile suddenly disappeared like the sun covered by the approach of a storm and she looked away. His heart dropped and his smile faltered. She had never shown him her smiles, never shared her laughter with him, and never went to him willingly unless he had gotten her something she liked like the Fahsars.

_I don't want to lose her. She is everything good in this world. So pure. So innocent. Yet…she was tainted by me. A king who took her away from her family. A man who took her virginity. A military authority who blinds her from her love's presence. _

_What will she really do if I told her? Will she do as Megumi says and reject Aoshi's heroic attempts at saving her? Or will she do as I thought and go back to her country with Aoshi…and our baby?_

_She probably _will_ be tempted to return, but…_

"**_I _despise_ you!" she yelled from the other side of the room. "Never will you make me yours completely!"_**

"_**I will and you will succumb to me by your own free will," he replied calmly as he poured himself a drink.**_

"_**Never! Aoshi is the only man I will give myself to, body and soul. He has my heart and I his. And no man, not even you, can break our bond."**_

**_Amber eyes glittered slyly at her over the rim of the glass cup as he took a sip of wine. "Oh? Women have never rejected me or my advancements; you are no different."_**

"_**Perhaps those women have not found their true love just like you. You feed off of their longing for their soul mate and twist it into something that they regret in the morning."**_

_**Kenshin walked toward her slowly. "I have scarcely left a woman unsatisfied, Kaoru." He reached out and curled long fingers around her neck. "When I'm done with you, you will beg me to take you again and again. You will be me to be yours and you will beg me to marry you."**_

"**_I'll beg only for my freedom." Kaoru said. "You can take me all you want, try to make me yours, but you will _never_ have me completely. If there was a chance I could run back to Aoshi, I will take it, no matter how dangerous it would be. He is my light in the day and my warmth in the cold night. I'll see to it that I'll return to him."_**

_**Kenshin's lips pursed. "Let's see you run to him after you've had a good beating."**_

"_**I dare you to." Kaoru said, her elegant raven head held high. **_

**_Kenshin hesitated at the glittering sapphire orbs that glared at him. He mentally shook himself and said, "I will act upon your previous invitation instead."_**

"_**Excuse me?"**_

"_**You said I can take you all I want." Kenshin said. "And take you is what I'll do."**_

_**Kaoru grimaced as she tried to back away. **_

"_**Ah, my lovely darling, do not be afraid. I'll not hurt you. You'll only feel a moment's pain and then the pleasure will come to you."**_

"_**The only pleasure I will feel is when I run away from this wretched place you call a palace and return to Aoshi and my family," she replied.**_

**_Kenshin growled as he grabbed her roughly and shoved her up against the wall, roughly taking her lips with his. He pulled back only slightly. "Then I will take pleasure in taking something that you have so valiantly tried to save for Aoshi on your wedding night." He was amused when he saw her blue eyes tremble with fear and despair, but there was an odd feeling deep inside his heart as he looked deeper into her eyes. _**

"Kenshin?"

Kenshin sighed. "I'll think on it, Megumi. In the meantime, hold off Aoshi and his army as much as you can."

Megumi bowed. "Yes, my lord."

Kenshin turned back to look at Kaoru. _Oh my love, if only…if only…_

Your presence is enough.

Your glance is enough.

You being here is enough.

But none of that would matter.

Why?

Because I'm lying.

D


	4. Chapter 4

**I apologize for the delay. **

**I was preoccupied with things.**

**Thank you to those who reviewed. It really meant a lot to me.**

**Just a note, the Fahsars are similar to the horse-like animals in Escaflowne. Remember those? It was so long ago, but I still remembered those animals because I thought they were so cute. **

**Here is Chapter 4…**

Chapter 4

_Kaoru blushed as a tapered hand stroked her cheek. His hand was warm and comforting by that simple, callused touch. Gentle sea-blue eyes gazed intently into her sapphire eyes. Though his face held no emotion, his eyes glimmered with the feelings he felt for her. _

"_It is late, my princess," he murmured. _

"_I know." Her voice was soft and small._

"_May I know the reason for your appearance in the dark halls?"_

_Kaoru blushed further, if that were even possible, and looked down "I – I was…"_

_Her chin was lifted by two fingers. His lips curved into a small smirk. "Any more of these night visits and the servants will deem me a seducer."_

"_Forgive me, I did not mean to-" Petal-soft lips grazed her own, cutting her sentence off. _

_Kaoru's eyes closed for a moment until he pulled away. She stared into his hazy eyes so filled with love and devotion. The pale crescent moon bathed them in a white glow from the window. _

"_How I wish time would fly faster," he murmured. "I want you by my side. I want you as my wife. I want you to be mine forever."_

_Kaoru's heart melted. "A year will fade into days and then we will be together forever."_

_He pulled her against his tall, muscled body, burying his face in her jasmine-scented hair. "I long for a child of our own to symbolize the absolute power of our love."_

_Kaoru lifted her head and kissed the tip of his nose. "A child you want, a child you shall get…_after_ the wedding."_

_He groaned playfully. _

_She laughed. "I love you, Aoshi."_

"_I love you, too, Kaoru."_

Kaoru gasped as she opened her eyes. The night was still and dark. The sun had but a few hours to rise. She turned on her side and sighed sadly. Her heart throbbed for her beloved. Nothing could stop the pain she was in. Perhaps she was just having mood swings like any other pregnant woman since her longing was stronger than ever. Or perhaps…

"_Always know that I will be here for you," he said. "Always know that I will risk my life for your safety. Always know that I will get you back if you're taken from me." He pulled out a silver necklace with a sapphire pendant. "This represents my love and loyalty to you. If you are taken away, this sapphire will tell you when I am near or coming."_

Kaoru shot out of bed and went to her closet. She opened the doors and dug through the pile on the ground in the corner. She pulled out a box and opened it. The necklace Aoshi gave her sat in a black velvet case. Holding it in the palm of her hand, she concentrated only on Aoshi.

His height…his ebony hair…his sea-blue eyes…his warm touch…his soft lips…

A beat.

Blue eyes shot open.

"He's near."

Kaoru went to her balcony and found Aoshi's hawk sitting there, cocking its gold and black head at her as if it were waiting for her. Around its left leg was a small letter. She walked up to it and gently tugged it from the hawk. It didn't fly off. It only made itself comfortable on the balcony rail and stared at her.

She unrolled the paper and read:

_My love,_

_I am here. Do not fret. _

But Kaoru was already fretting. She hurried back into her room and tore a small piece of paper from her stationary and wrote:

_Beloved,_

_I beg of you, do not come. He will kill you._

She rolled it up and went back to the hawk. She tied it to the hawk's leg and stepped back. She waved her hand and the bird took off, silently soaring through the damp night. Quickly, she put back her necklace and covered it before closing the closet.

Something felt odd, this strange feeling made her wonder about her husband. She put on a thick, warm burgundy robe and crept toward the door that connected her room with her husband's and pressed her ear to it. She heard murmuring. As quietly as she could, she cracked open the door, knowing that her husband always kept this door unlocked so he could check up on her every now and then throughout the night.

"Is he near?" her husband's deep voice asked.

"Yes. I hear he's somewhere in the western region of the kingdom." Sanosuke's low voice answered.

Kaoru frowned. Is this what her husband talked about with Megumi as Sanosuke ushered them away from Kaoru's sight? She was not so naïve to see that Megumi was telling something unpleasant to her husband.

"Continue that orders I gave you earlier," her husband said. "But do not let Kaoru know about this."

"I didn't believe Megumi when she told me this." Sanosuke said. "And I still can't believe my ears now."

Her husband growled. "And I mean it now as I meant it earlier."

"You _must_ let Kaoru know," Sanosuke said. "She can convince Lord Aoshi to retreat."

"Megumi said that, too, but I don't trust Aoshi."

"And you don't trust Kaoru."

"I didn't say that!"

"But you meant it all the same."

"I trust Kaoru with my heart."

"And yet you do not trust her enough to go into the battlefield to talk to Lord Aoshi."

Her husband started pacing, scratching his red head, his purple robes snapping in the air. "I know what her decision will be if I let her go to Aoshi."

"But she knows that you are capable of killing him. She knows that you would have hurt her family if she escaped from you; that's why she never left you. Kaoru will not leave with Lord Aoshi, that I know for sure. I trust her."

A small smile formed on Kaoru's lips even though he spoke the truth. She had seen her husband's fighting technique and it was ultimately dangerous. She was terrified for her loved ones if she escaped from him. He was – _is_ – a possessive man and usually never let his possessions go.

"Kenshin, please," Sanosuke's tone was gentle yet desperate. "Kaoru is trustworthy. If you want, I can talk to her."

Her husband gave a defeated sigh. "I take back my orders from before. Just find out Aoshi's whereabouts and come back. Once we know where he is…" His tone was one of reluctance and pain. "I'll send Kaoru."

Sanosuke took hold of her husband and squeezed him.

As her husband gasped for air, Kaoru closed the door and went back to the balcony. The hawk was no where in sight, only the morning dew that hinted at the sun's rising.

"What are you doing up so early, love?"

Startled, Kaoru whirled around.

Her husband raised his hands. "I apologize for startling you. I didn't mean to."

Kaoru only stared at him for a moment and looked out into the sky. "I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmare?"

She shrugged. _Hardly._

"Would you like to sleep in today?" he asked as he walked up to her. "You do not have to attend the meeting with the generals."

Kaoru stiffened when her husband came near her.

Immediately sensing her stiffness, Kenshin moved away. He walked up to the rail where Aoshi's hawk had just perched. "It's always so boring. These meetings. Hardly a spark of laughter, you know?" He offered her a kind smile.

Kaoru only looked away and unconsciously put her hand on her belly, as if protecting her child.

Kenshin's smile faltered at the unsaid rejection. His heart tightened at the memory at the announcement that his unborn child was dead.

"_My lord," Kimiko came up to Kenshin, her expression grave and pained._

"_What is it?" Kenshin was looking at some papers in one hand and held a cup of water in the other. He was tired from last night. _

"_It's Lady Kaoru."_

_Kenshin pursed his lips as he looked back down at the papers. "Let her be. She had angered me and I punished her. I will not allow her to be spoiled-"_

"_It's the baby."_

_He stopped and slowly looked up into the old woman's gray eyes. "B-baby? I…I am a father?"_

"_Not anymore, my lord." Kimiko looked down, tears threatening to fall. _

_Kenshin then noticed that there was blood on her apron. "Wh-what do you mean?"_

"_The child…a boy…" Kimiko sniffed. "He is…dead."_

_The papers fluttered to the ground. The glass of water shattered on the marble floor._

_Kenshin immediately ran out of the throne room and up the staircase. It was then he heard her cries. Her pain-filled, anguished cries. Heart in his throat, he ran to their room._

_There she was. _

_Knelt on a blood-soaked carpet mat._

_Her hair in a wild dissary._

_Holding a very small, bloody bundle in her arms. _

"_My baby…" she murmured through her tears. "My baby…My baby…"_

_She was shaking horribly from exhaustion and from last night's beatings. _

_Her maids stood far away from her. When a maid offered to help, Kaoru screamed at her to get away._

_It was a heartbreaking scene._

_A to-be mother kneeling in the center of the room, the sun barely shining outside, holding her baby drenched in blood and tears. _

_Then, she looked at him. At Kenshin. _

_She looked away. _

_But that two-second stare was all Kenshin needed to know her unsaid rejection and anguished curses. _

_Her once lively sapphire eyes had dulled to a mere gray and blue color with no spark of fire in them. They were once clear and shinning and were now red and puffy, producing waterfalls of tears. _

"_Kaoru," he murmured. _

_Kaoru held her baby closer to her chest. _

_He stepped forward. _

_She cringed. _

_He advanced on her slowly._

_She shrunk, lowering her frail body to the ground. _

_He knelt in front of her._

_She whimpered. _

_He reached out. _

_She winced. _

"_I…I…" He was at a lost of words. _

"_You win," she whispered. _

_Kenshin's heart died at those words. _

"_You win," _

_Never had he heard her sound so…defeated…done for…spiritless…hopeless…_

"_I didn't mean-"_

"_Y-you've taken m-me from-m my f-f-family," Her shaking voice was raspy and low. "You t-t-took me a-away from-m my b-betr-trothed. Y-you be-at me wh-when I d-d-displeased y-you. Y-you to-ok me ag-gainst m-m-my will. B-but," She lifted her head. "_But why take my baby?!?_"_

_Kenshin was shocked by her words despite the truth it held. He could only stare into her dulled eyes. _

_He reached out again._

_She winced again. _

"_Y-you can ha-have anyth-thing you w-want, b-but no-not my b-baby…" Her last words died into a wail. _

_Kenshin wanted so much to comfort her, but whenever he did, she either winced or backed away from him. _

That night, he and Kaoru slept in separate rooms according to Kimiko's instructions. The whole palace was in an uproar and Kimiko took charge. She had threatened every servant and guard to not let it spread to the public. Since she was the eldest, everyone respected and listened to her.

Kenshin remembered he didn't sleep that night. Or the next. He just sat against the wall that separated his and Kaoru's rooms. His heart would contract at every muffled cry Kaoru made.

It had taken Kaoru all day to let go of the baby. When the baby was cleaned and wrapped for burial, it had taken Kaoru more than a week to let the baby be buried. The burial was a small service, opened only to those who were present in Kenshin and Kaoru's room.

Kaoru was silent throughout the entire service.

Kenshin had stared at her throughout the entire service.

Everyone else had cried throughout the entire service.

The next day, Kaoru did not eat. The day after, she refused comfort. The next, she sat by her window, staring into nothingness. For about a week, Kaoru did not eat anything. The week after, Megumi, Sanosuke, Kimiko, and three other guards had to force feed her. Kaoru's health had deteriorated dramatically and Megumi was getting frantic.

For the next three months, it was the same routine.

For the next three months, Kenshin avoided Kaoru, but sent her dozens of flowers, knowing that she liked the smell of it. It reminded her of home, she once told him.

At the beginning of the fourth month, Kenshin had gone to Kaoru and grimaced at the frail sight. He apologized to her as sincerely as he could and left. He went to his unborn child's grave and apologized to him.

Someone or something must have visited Kaoru that very same day for she said the very phrase everyone prayed for, _"I'm hungry."_

Megumi was ecstatic and relieved.

Kaoru's health had slowly returned after that.

It was months later that Kimiko had talked to Kenshin and Kaoru about making a new baby. Kenshin had refused at first, concerned about Kaoru's health, but, to his surprise, Kaoru had agreed to it. He was hesitant, but Kaoru was encouraging.

"_I want a baby," _she had said. _"I don't want my first baby to not have siblings."_

That touched Kenshin's heart. So that night, he gave her a baby.

And here they were.

Standing outside on her balcony.

Kenshin looked down and searched for his baby's grave. He smiled dreamily at it. _You'll have a sibling soon, my son. Perhaps a little brother? Yes, I think that would be nice._

Kaoru glanced at her husband and noticed that he was looking at their baby's grave. Her heart skipped a beat at the smile he gave.

"A boy," he suddenly said.

Confused, Kaoru didn't answer.

Kenshin turned to her and smiled. "I think it'll be a boy. I told our son that. I told him that it would be nice to have a boy."

Kaoru bit her lip for a moment. "It may be a girl."

"A girl." Kenshin's expression turned curious. Then, he lifted a brow. "She'll have one heck of a protective father, that she will."

Kaoru lifted her hand to her lips, which were slightly threatening to smile at her husband's jest.

"Come to think of it, I don't think I will mind having a little girl." Kenshin leaned against the rail. "She'll make a wonderful princess. She'll be my little princess."

"She won't-"

"The law says that women aren't allowed to take the throne, but I think we should abolish that law," he continued. "I wouldn't mind having my daughter rule in my stead. It could certainly be different, but I wouldn't mind at all. Our country Liere should have a woman's touch, eh?"

Kaoru slowly nodded.

Hesitating, Kenshin held out his hand. He shyly looked away when Kaoru looked him questioningly.

Charmed at his shyness and his slightly shaking hand, Kaoru slowly slid hers into his. She marveled at how callused and warm they were. Much different from the hand that only gave bruises and split lips.

Shocked, Kenshin looked at their hands. His heart was suddenly pounding in his chest. That was quick. He stared at the small, slim hand in his larger ones. Her hand was warm and soft, pleasing to the touch. Now he knew why husbands longed for their wives' touch.

He mentally shook his head and closed his fingers slowly around hers and held her hand in a light grasp so that she could pull away anytime she wanted to. How he wanted this moment to last.

"Kaoru," he started.

She looked up at him.

"I…" He cleared his throat and used his free hand to scratch the back of his red head. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and cleared his throat again. "I…well…" He took a breath.

All the while, Kaoru waited patiently and held back the urge to smile at her husband's actions.

"I promise that the hand you hold…well, actually holds _yours_…" He shook his head. "…will never hurt you ever again," he said. "I promise…on my life…to make you happy. I promise to listen to you and take care of you for the rest of our lives. I promise that our child…will grow up happy and healthy. And he – or she – will know of our first. Of my mistakes and of my carelessness. I promise to be truthful and faithful to you for the rest of our lives." He paused, running his thumb over the back of her hand. "To this I say to heavens and beyond. Should I break any of my promises, my life shall be taken away."

At that very moment, the sun rose. There was an array of oranges, reds, yellows, and pinks that flew across the night sky. The birds sang their morning song. The horses neighed their good mornings.

An outline of gold outlined Kenshin's head as Kaoru stared at him.

The morning ray gave a soft yellow hue to Kaoru's skin as Kenshin stared at her.

It was at that moment, Kaoru felt something stir in her heart.

"I have…I have received word that…Lord Aoshi is here." Kenshin reluctantly said. "I ordered for Sano to find his whereabouts."

Kaoru gave an encouraging look.

"I want you to…Would you please talk to him?"

"About?"

Kenshin ran his free hand through his hair. "I know how much you love him." His tone was bitter yet full of longing. "I just want you to stay…well, not against you will or anything, but I don't want you to go. It would mean a lot to me if you…well, I mean…it's not like…actually, I do…I just…"

Kaoru slightly smiled the jumble of words he was spouting. "You want me to talk to him about retreating. And you're afraid that I would leave with him."

"W-well,"

She gave a gentle squeeze.

"Well actually, yes," he admitted. "I-"

"I will do as my king and husband says." Kaoru said.

"But-"

"Do not worry. I will be back. I promise."


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**.:IMPORTANT:.**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**June 24, 2007**

**This is note an update. **

**For those who do not look at my bio, I am currently editing the previous chapters of this story as well as working on Chapter 5. **

**I apologize for those who have been waiting so patiently for an update. **

**My reason for neglecting this story is that I was updating my other story "To Be Yours". **

**If it helps, I am just about halfway done with Chapter 5 and will be posting it soon. **

**I WILL BE REPLACING THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE WITH CHAPTER 5 ONCE THE CHAPTER IS FINISHED. **

**Thank you to all my readers and reviewers for being so patient. **


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